False accusations at The Fireside Inn.

I had breakfast this morning at The Fireside Inn with my boss and a handful of coworkers. The Fireside Inn is a quaint, local "mom and pop" style restaurant that has a small intimate feel, while seating a surprisingly large number of people. The food is okay; nothing spectacular, but pleasing enough if you're in the mood for a simple meal in a "local" setting. I'm not sure why we all met there. I think we might have been celebrating something, but I'm not sure what. I felt like if I questioned the purpose of our gathering I might look ungrateful or put out to be there and neither was the case. A free breakfast with coworkers I enjoy in a pleasant local setting; I'm in.

We were seated in a comfortable room that felt like it might have been a greenhouse at one time. This gave it a light, airy, and open feel. At one point during the meal I noticed a projector on the ceiling pointing at a pull down screen on the wall behind me. There was a modest stage light with a purple filter that was also pointing at the screen. The best sense I could make of it was a possible karaoke stage although it seemed like an awfully strange venue for such a thing. When I finally asked about it the waitress accused me of being a karaoke junkie and some of my table mates playfully jumped right in. She went on to explain that they don't do karaoke, but they use to host small, local events there. She began to share her passion of karaoke with me under the pretense that I shared her obsession. At one point later in the meal she even brought another waitress to the table to inform her that I was a karaoke junkie. Those who know me well, know that this couldn't be further from the truth. Sure, I've done some in Japan, but it's nearly impossible to escape on that island, and during the experiences I was completely out of my element. Also, in Japan, you're in a little room with just your close friends as opposed to the American style where you're on a stage in front of every stranger in the bar. You couldn't get me drunk enough to do karaoke in America. The waitress had stamped me with a false label that couldn't be further from the truth.

This isn't the first time something like that has happened. One time in college I was on a date with my girlfriend and I chose to bring one of the little throw away coasters home with me because I thought it had a cool picture on it. This isn't something you'd want to do on a first or second date, but we were in a serious relationship of a couple years that allowed for such idiosyncrasies. It was a one time deal with that specific coaster. Well sometime not long after in a random conversation she informed my guy friends that I had a coaster collection. I don't know what in God's name possessed her to do that, but nothing could have been lamer or funnier to my friends than the idea that my girlfriend had just outed me as a closet coaster collector. For the next couple years every time one of them went to a restaurant or bar they brought home at least one coaster and gave it to me no matter how bland or ordinary it might be. They just couldn't get enough of helping me build my nonexistent coaster collection. Although I threw many of them away, so many friends were constantly bringing me more coasters (including repeats of places they'd already brought them from before) that I ended up unintentionally having a damn coaster collection.

Well, I don't collect coasters, and I'm not a karaoke junkie, but unfortunately sometimes a label sticks whether it's accurate or not. So the next time we're at a bar or restaurant don't volunteer me to go on stage and sing, and if you take one the coasters you damn sure better keep it for yourself.