Casanova's word of the day is: coquette
Coquette: a woman who endeavors without sincere affection to gain the attention and admiration of men
- coquettish adjective
Gentlemen, they've been around since the time of Casanova and before, and you can still find them aplenty today. Ladies, you probably know one. The key word is endeavor. Women of outstanding external or internal beauty will no doubt garner the attention and admiration of many, to no fault of their own. The coquette, however, endeavors to garner this attention and admiration with no intention of returning it once it is obtained. She nurtures it and feeds it. She's a cold, emotional vampire, whose ego must feed off the affections of the living. Collecting her butterflies, she pins them through the heart to her board of trophies.
What are the signs?
1. In a circle of several guy friends, each one is under the impression that he shares a special connection with the coquette and that she is in some way interested in him.
2. Facebook. Notice the "wall" interactions. It's one thing to be hit up by tons of guys and to be kind about it. That's admirable. Nothing wrong with popularity and interaction/harmless flirting with the opposite sex. It's good to be alive. The coquette though will have lots of long drawn out and extensive dialogues with multiple guys who are clearly interested. They aren't hitting on her or flirting. They're relationship building, oblivious to one another due to - see sign 1.
3. The coquette absolutely cannot interact with the opposite sex without "baiting". This means going beyond flirting, to giving subtle indicators of interest. These are subtle clues that tell the male she's open to pursuit and receptive to potential mating. Males will pursue whether they've received these clues or not, but with them they let their emotional guard down and display their interest on a vulnerable and intimate level.
So keep your guard up gentlemen so you can spot a coquette when you come in contact with her. It can save you time, money and heartache. Don't become skeptical of all flirtations you receive. That would take the fun out of interaction. Just be aware.
If a girl does prove to be a coquette, drop the acquaintance and pay no heed to how "real" or "genuine" her interest or interaction seemed. Just get away from the drug. It might feel good in the moment, but you know it's not good for you and is slowly destroying you.
As we know from Casanova, there are far too many incredible women out there worth the courting. Avoid the coquette in pursuit of greater treasure.
Love this! I could have used this advice about
ReplyDelete10 years ago. Ive always admired what a great
observer you are and how masterfully you can translate
those observations into brilliant truths. -DMW
Thanks so much brother. Miss you incredibly.
ReplyDeleteVery true! I believe social media makes this new generation of coquette's harder to depict from the genuine.
ReplyDeleteLove your posts! But I think this one is very male biased. What is the term (if there is one) for the male version of this? This is a HUMAN condition, not just a female one. Men exhibit the same kind of behavior, and women have just as hard a time trying to figure out what men are putting out there. Woman tend to be more open and sensitive; and maybe you men are mistaking this as being coquettish. Just wanted to give a female perspective!
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous. The term for a male version is "coquet", which can also be used as a verb. I would argue though that most males are just "playa's" willing to hook up with all the women they're coquetting whereas the female coquette seeks the attention with no plans of reciprocating. I suppose an open, sensitive woman could be mistaken for a coquette, but there's nothing sensitive about a trail of mislead, broken hearts in one's wake. I guess it boils down to whether it was heartless and intentional or a result of ignorance, which begs the question: Does a woman deserve the title of coquette if she's doing all her damage out of ignorance? Thanks for the female perspective!
ReplyDelete